The sweetest sound to hear

A name has to be treated with respect like any other part of an individual’s identity.
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The usual question I face whenever I meet somebody for the first time is what my title, name, and surname stand for. It reinforces my belief that a name is not just a word but a unique identifier that differentiates a person from most others. On your birth, you are assigned the label and it is what people call you all your life.

“A person’s name,” says Dale Carnegie, “is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” It’s so powerful that if someone calls your name even in a crowded place, you would instinctively turn your attention towards the person and respond.

In India, parents choose the most suitable name for their child, often based on astrological beliefs. In cultures with strong religious traditions, children are given divine names, invoking the blessings of the deities. However, modern trend in naming babies is to straightaway select an attractive or fanciful name from a book of baby names. Those not pleased with their given names can change them legally at any time.

Part of identity

All said and done, a name is a name whether ascribed or acquired. It has to be treated with respect like any other part of an individual’s identity.

In using names, certain etiquette is followed in almost all cultures. Making a joke or trying to shorten, mispronounce or misspell a name could have disastrous effects. It is customary not to call elderly people such as father or grandfather by their first names. Of late, addressing senior colleagues as sir, sahib or boss at the workplace is discouraged as being a colonial vestige. The usage of first names is preferred in the interest of better collaboration and communication. While most senior officers are comfortable with being addressed by their names, there are exceptions like a colleague of mine who would not only be unresponsive but would also lose his cool if a callow probationer does so.

As we are heading towards a casteless society, surname is now rarely used as a source of information about the social group one belongs to. In India, sections of women change their surname from that of their fathers to that of their husbands despite a furore over this switchover.

Brain research has demonstrated that hearing one’s name activates different parts of brain as no other words do. The other day, I was standing in a long queue waiting to enter an art museum. The security guard was frisking every one, checking handbags and stamping each entrance ticket to confirm completion of checking. He was discharging his duty mechanically with a doleful look on his face. When my turn came, I greeted him with the words “Good morning Mr. David”, picking his name from his badge. His face immediately lit up with a broad smile as he responded to my greetings. It is obvious that hearing his name had triggered in him a sense of recognition and validation.

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