Daughters are not children of a lesser god

When my father-in-law passed away last week, my wife and her sister decided to perform the last rites. Eyebrows were raised, but soon it gave way to appreciation, even from unexpected quarters. The priest reassured her that the departed soul would be happy with her performing the rituals, and that it was true love that mattered.

I have heard some people lament, “I don’t have any sons in my lineage to perform my last rites”. Traditionally, in families where there are only daughters, distant male relatives are entrusted with the responsibility. My wife always maintained that it is gross injustice. A daughter loves her father and mother just as deeply as a son does — sometimes even more. So, what is the point in denying her the right?

Of late, many daughters have performed the last rites of their parents, which made news headlines. In 2018, when India’s former prime minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee passed away, his adopted daughter Namita Kaul Bhattacharya lit the funeral pyre. She not only made a powerful statement about gender equality, but also inspired many daughters in the coming years. However, while daughters in progressive families may find it easy to step into this role, those in more orthodox households face greater resistance.

It’s appalling that at an age when daughters reach the space as astronauts, beat opponents as chess champions, and rule nations as prime ministers, there are still those who feel blessed to have a son — if only to carry out the last rites. Such thinking may well have played a part in the dark history of female foeticide which was rampant till a few years ago.

Social acceptance for daughters performing the ceremonies will take us one step closer to gender equality. Citing reasons like ‘impurity’ to forbid a daughter from performing the last rites reflects the patriarchal mindset which needs to change. India’s daughters are not the children of a lesser god; they are the harbingers of a bright future.