Retirement, often hailed as a gateway to freedom and new possibilities, frequently conceals a less-discussed reality: a period fraught with emotional challenges and profound uncertainty.
The abrupt cessation of a structured working life can prove a particularly difficult adjustment for many individuals. This often-overlooked pattern is something BACP senior accredited psychotherapist and counsellor Lina Mookerjee, from Praxis Therapy, has consistently observed among her older clients.
“One of the biggest things that I have observed is that we are fed an image of retirement, but it’s not actually the same for everybody,” reflects Mookerjee. “There’s often assumptions about how wonderful it’s going to be and I think that encountering the reality can sometimes be a shock.”
However, with the right mindset and preparation, retirement can be a fulfilling and healthy chapter. Here, Mookerjee shares her top tips for navigating this life-changing period with confidence…
Create a healthy routine
“Having routine and structure to your days means that you commit to not just the immediacy of the day, but also long-term health in your diet, exercise, social contact and rest,” says Mookerjee. “Maintaining health and wellbeing in older life becomes far more precarious and you have to be even more disciplined because things start to go wrong. A rhythm to your day also offers reassurance and comfort.”
Find your purpose
“Going to work gives you a purpose. Often that purpose is to provide for your family, or the company’s mission may help you feel like you’re part of something,” acknowledges Mookerjee. “During retirement, it’s then down to you as an individual to take that on. It’s a time of major reevaluation and can cause an existential crisis about our own existence. A sense of confusion and chaos can ensue, so in terms of mental health, it can be very destabilising.”
Mookerjee encourages individuals in this situation to consider what else is truly important to them and to explore what brings them happiness beyond work.
“Take action and think about what you need to reevaluate,” advises the psychotherapist. “Ask yourself, what’s important to me? Is it charity work? Is it giving to the homeless? It’s about finding worth, as worth and purpose are connected.”
Consider volunteering
“I was in my local charity shop at the weekend and the women volunteering in there were in their late 80s and they were so busy,” says Mookerjee. “But, they love it because it helps them feel wanted and needed. So, volunteering can be really powerful.”
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Make an effort to maintain existing connections
“During retirement people often move from an office that’s busy to then silence,” highlights Mookerjee. “As humans, we exist more healthily with people, so it’s all about making the effort and being your own personal assistant when it comes to social plans.
“Try to get into a routine where you meet up with your former colleagues or mates on a weekly or monthly basis. Make a commitment to meet up at a social club or at a coffee shop, wherever is familiar.”
Make new connections
“Make attempts to make new contacts,” recommends Mookerjee. “Join a new club, volunteer at a charity shop or join an activity in a library.
“My local library offers all sorts of activities such as backgammon, Scrabble, Sudoku etc. It gets people out and about to meet, and it’s familiar. It gives you something to look forward to, to get up and get dressed for.”
Try gardening
“Gardening can be incredibly restorative,” says Mookerjee. “I would definitely encourage everyone to get themselves three or four pots and to start planting. It’s incredibly therapeutic and healing and gives you something to look after.”
Go for a walk everyday
“Get up and go walk for 20 minutes at least every day, twice a day, on a familiar route,” recommends Mookerjee. “Movement is vital, especially in the sunlight so that you get some vitamin D.”
Stimulate your brain
“Retirement is an opportunity for trying new things which stimulate the brain,” says Mookerjee. “My husband has retired and has started playing chess online against people all around the world. Playing games likes Sudoku and chess are great ways to stimulate the mind.”
Celebrate your achievements
“Choose one or two small projects and celebrate every accomplishment you make because that starts to build your tank of confidence,” says Mookerjee.
Shift your expectations
“Change your expectations and do things that are within your limits and respect the fact that we become more limited physically as we get older,” says Mookerjee. “Don’t stop being active, but work within your limitations. Our bodies start to change and become more frail and fragile, but your sense of self changes in retirement and can make you become stronger and wiser.”
Allow yourself to rest
“Retirement is also a time to rest and recuperate and to let your body heal and to give it attention,” says Mookerjee. “The trajectory that you’ve been on with work and stress is only going to lead to burnout, so allow yourself time to rest.”
