W<\/span>hile current debates on delimitation focus on its impact on the federal balance of power, another historic rebalancing is contingent on it \u2014 the implementation of the Women\u2019s Reservation Bill, 2023. The Bill marked a watershed moment: gender equity moved from the margins of political discourse to its centre. No institution can now afford to dismiss it. Yet, this very mainstreaming has paradoxically made it harder, at times, to engage with the discourse critically.<\/p>\n

As a woman, I often find myself on the edges of the feminist discourse. It\u2019s not because I\u2019m \u201cnot a feminist\u201d in the way some young women say. But I understand that clumsily expressed discomfort. Today\u2019s mainstream feminist discourse can feel like a minefield \u2014 demanding disclaimers and caveats before one can step in. <\/p>\n

Two terrains <\/h4>\n

There are two distinct terrains when we talk about women\u2019s issues. The first is the structural \u2014 the way the design of our society can keep women at the margins. The second is the realm of interpersonal relationships. These overlap, but imposing the structural lens too heavily on the personal risks distorting both. It flattens the richness of human relationships, turning every minor conflict into a battle for power \u2014 even when the relationship may be undergirded by love, care, and a willingness to negotiate. <\/p>\n

It is true that the personal is political, shaped by deeper hierarchies. But interpersonal relationships are often not reducible to oppression or domination. In India, many men labour quietly \u2014 denying themselves comfort, enduring difficult work environments \u2014 to support their families. That implicit sense of love and duty creates space for give and take. A husband may expect dinner on the table, but also give his monthly earnings to his wife. Men depending on their wives \u2014 emotionally and practically \u2014 inevitably reshapes the balance in those relationships. These are not straightforward expressions of patriarchy; they are messy, contradictory, deeply human. <\/p>\n

Problematic behaviours exist. But they need to be addressed on their own terms \u2014 not simply labelled as misogyny or evidence of oppressive intent. After all, social change comes from public protest and policy reform but also from millions of daily negotiations \u2014 quiet shifts in family routines, small acts of solidarity, the rethinking of roles within daily lives. Often, the stories of women from marginalised backgrounds who have achieved unexpected successes include unexpected allies, such as a father who insists on sending his daughter to college. These accounts are part of the real story of progress. <\/p>\n

Of course, where women\u2019s agency is denied forcibly, we need to address that, through societal change and state power. For instance, daughters who are murdered for pursuing love, or the grassroots elected representative who is made her own proxy by her husband. To empower women we must address multiple interlocking factors: economic independence, legal protections, education, social networks, and cultural shifts. To address these structural issues, we must build state capacity to ensure that institutions actually deliver the protections they promise on paper. However, the most effective interventions work at multiple levels simultaneously \u2014 the state and society \u2014 and are context-sensitive. <\/p>\n

Blurring of inequities <\/h4>\n

The nature of constraints on a financially independent urban woman who is negotiating household responsibilities is not the same as that of a village woman fearing rape as she steps out at night to access a toilet. Yet, too often, feminist discourse collapses these into a single narrative. It moves too seamlessly between the structural and the interpersonal, the privileged and the vulnerable \u2014 sometimes masking inequity more than illuminating it. <\/p>\n

This blurring of vastly different inequities \u2014 some life-threatening, others negotiable \u2014 risks alienating people, especially if they themselves feel embattled as many men do. And while that embattlement is sometimes overstated or misdirected, it is not always imagined. A man earning a lower income who goes to work may endure public humiliation. While his wife may be doing unpaid work at home, she may also be insulated from some of those public indignities. These are not arguments against feminism, but calls for a feminism that acknowledges multiple forms of suffering and responsibility. <\/p>\n

Writing this may seem like one is being unnecessarily moderate, complicit in patriarchal structures of power. However, this is also a response to the current moment which is rife with antagonism across all fronts. A more compassionate feminism may be tactically right in this moment, to engender support instead of backlash. When feminist discourse recognises the emotional and economic pressures that shape the lives of men, particularly those at the margins, it invites solidarity rather than defensiveness. <\/p>\n

Perhaps what we need now is a feminism that can hold complexity not just within its own ranks but across society. One that can confront injustice without antagonism. One that can distinguish between structure and sentiment, between cultural patterns and individual acts. A feminism that can accommodate contradiction without becoming complicit. This is especially because unlike other battles for rights, within the terrain of male-female relationships, there is no way to segregate the personal from the public. Thus if we adopt an antagonistic framework, we will bring the battle home. That may ultimately be necessary in some cases, but it need not be the starting point.<\/p>\n

Ruchi Gupta, Executive Director of the Future of India Foundation<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

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Published – April 15, 2025 01:23 am IST<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Visitors at the Parliament House on September 20, 2023, the day of the debate on Women\u2019s reservation bill in the Lok Sabha. | Photo Credit: PTI While current debates on delimitation focus on its impact on the federal balance of power, another historic rebalancing is contingent on it \u2014 the implementation of the Women\u2019s Reservation […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":242307,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[772],"tags":[2614,195618,195617,10698],"class_list":{"0":"post-242306","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-opinion","8":"tag-2614","9":"tag-compassionate-feminism","10":"tag-implementation-of-the-womens-reservation-bill","11":"tag-womens-reservation-bill"},"yoast_head":"\n