{"id":235444,"date":"2025-04-05T11:00:18","date_gmt":"2025-04-05T11:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peoplebugs.com\/health\/6-common-phrases-you-may-not-realize-are-actually-fat-shaming-3\/"},"modified":"2025-04-05T23:42:20","modified_gmt":"2025-04-05T23:42:20","slug":"6-common-phrases-you-may-not-realize-are-actually-fat-shaming-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/peoplebugs.com\/health\/6-common-phrases-you-may-not-realize-are-actually-fat-shaming-3\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Common Phrases You May Not Realize Are Actually Fat-Shaming"},"content":{"rendered":"


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As a general rule, phrases that offend groups of people are off limits in any respectful and caring group of people. Words that bring down folks in certain demographics have evolved into things that are just not OK to say, even as a joke. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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But that doesn\u2019t seem to apply as much to fat-shaming. Many people still use phrases without realizing (or, worse, without caring) that they\u2019re offensive.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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According to Tigress Osborn<\/a>, the board chair of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance<\/a>, our associations with eating and body types can be traced back to historical ideas about racism and white purity.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cIn an American sense especially, white Christian purity and what it means to be a \u2018good woman\u2019 has to do with controlling yourself, controlling your appetites, controlling your body,\u201d Osborn said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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And self-control was a way to differentiate oneself from others, particularly Black and indigenous people.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cWe don\u2019t think often enough about how much all of our ideas about why fat is so bad and so gross are related to these really racist and eugenicist ideas about what bodies should be and what behavior about food should be like,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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In addition to this history, these offensive phrases are deeply rooted in a pervasive diet culture that has plagued society for decades. The idea that thin is ideal \u2015 and healthy \u2015 is everywhere, from the TV we view to the social media posts we see.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Below, experts share what these common anti-fat phrases are and how you can be a little more mindful of your language:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2018You\u2019ve lost weight! You look great.\u2019<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
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\u201c\u2018You lost weight, you look great\u2019 is an automatic response that a lot of us give, but it also implies the person didn\u2019t look great before,\u201d said Christine Byrne<\/a>, an eating disorder dietitian and the owner of Ruby Oak Nutrition<\/a> in Raleigh, North Carolina. \u201cAnd that they look better just because they\u2019re smaller, so that\u2019s problematic.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Byrne added that first, you shouldn\u2019t comment on someone\u2019s body size; second, it\u2019s just inappropriate to say to someone without any context.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cThere are all kinds of reasons people lose weight, and a lot of them are bad,\u201d she said. The person could have an acute illness, could have an eating disorder, could be battling a serious illness that is causing weight loss or could be suffering from extreme anxiety that impacts their eating habits, Byrne added.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Beyond this, many people who do lose weight eventually gain it back. \u201cYou\u2019re just kind of setting someone up to feel bad when that happens, which is likely,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2018You\u2019re not fat, you\u2019re beautiful.\u2019<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
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According to Ivy Felicia<\/a>, a body image expert, certified wellness coach and founder of Fat Women of Color<\/a> in Washington, D.C., an all-time popular phrase <\/span>is telling someone they\u2019re beautiful to console them if they say they\u2019re fat. But it ends up being a backhanded compliment, even when it\u2019s not meant that way.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cIt\u2019s basically separating fat from value,\u201d Felicia said. Fat and beautiful \u201ccan co-exist at the same time in the same body in the same being,\u201d but this reaction implies that isn\u2019t possible.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Another version of this is when a fat person refers to themselves as fat, and the response from a friend is, \u201coh, you\u2019re not fat,\u201d Osborn said. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cWell, I\u2019m clearly fat, so what you are telling me is \u2018don\u2019t say that horrible thing about yourself,\u2019 and what I\u2019m telling you is \u2019it\u2019s not a horrible thing about myself, it\u2019s just one of the many things that I am,\u2019\u201d Osborn added.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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This is a way that \u201cpeople nice their way into an unintended insult,\u201d Osborn said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2018I\u2019m having a cheat day.\u2019<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
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Diet culture is everywhere. It\u2019s hard to go on social media and not find an influencer touting a new green juice or diet pill, and it\u2019s hard to go to the grocery store without being bombarded by \u201chealthier\u201d low-calorie, low-carb food options. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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One term that comes straight from diet culture<\/a> is \u201ccheat day,\u201d according to Osborn. A cheat day is \u201cthe idea that there\u2019s a universally right way to eat and you can have a special day to be \u2018bad,\u2019\u201d Osborn said. \u201cIt\u2019s applying moralistic language to eating.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Moreover, \u201ccheat day\u201d implies you can only have one day like this. Otherwise, you\u2019ll get fat, Osborn added. \u201cIt\u2019s a really troubling phrase,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2018I\u2019m going to be bad and have this cookie.\u2019<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
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\u201cIn our modern world, we\u2019re not thinking about how all of the ways that we think about [food and weight] comes from this really gross history of intentionally trying to position one community against another,\u201d Osborn said.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Going back to the racist idealogy behind anti-fat attitudes, Osbon said this phrase means \u201cI\u2019m not going to be like \u2018those people\u2019\u201d by eating a cookie, slice of pizza, cupcake or whatever the \u201cunhealthy\u201d food item is.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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It\u2019s not \u201cbad\u201d to consume what you want, and you should stop yourself from thinking that way. Food doesn\u2019t have a moral value.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2018At least you\u2019ll be skinny after being sick.\u2019<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
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Have you ever had a stomach bug or another illness and heard someone say, \u201cat least you\u2019ll feel skinny tomorrow?\u201d You probably have. Or you may even think this to yourself when battling the flu or a cold. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Tegan Lecheler<\/a>, a member-at-large with the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, said this phrase she\u2019s heard after someone has the flu or even COVID. It\u2019s a problematic phrase for a multitude of reasons, Lecheler noted, but \u201cultimately, those are illnesses that can have really severe effects on your well-being long-term.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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This is a thought pattern engrained in our culture, and \u201cfeeling skinny\u201d after a mild sickness is almost considered the upside of getting sick, which is hugely problematic. No one should have to suffer in any capacity to achieve a made-up societal standard of beauty.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2018I feel fat.\u2019<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
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How often have you heard someone say they \u201cfeel fat\u201d? Probably pretty frequently, and this is not OK.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cBody size is not a feeling, it is a physicality,\u201d Osborn said. So, when you say you \u201cfeel fat\u201d (which is an all-too-common phrase), she added that you\u2019re actually using fat as a synonym for a negative feeling you\u2019re having.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Oppositely, Osborn explained that when you say you \u201cfeel thin,\u201d you\u2019re using thin to say that you\u2019re feeling good or better than other people.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

What should you do if you hear someone say something fat-shaming?<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
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These phrases are pervasive in our culture, so it\u2019s reasonable to think you will hear someone utter one soon. \u201cIt is important to recognize that not everyone feels safe pushing back against this stuff, there is such a stigma against fatness in our culture,\u201d Byrne said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Additionally, it\u2019s not safe for everyone to push back, and she added that it\u2019s important to protect yourself mentally and physically in these situations. \u201cYou are under no obligation to say anything if a fat-shaming [comment] has been directed at you and you don\u2019t feel safe in the situation,\u201d Byrne explained. \u201cI think if you\u2019re a thin person listening to a comment that is fat-shaming, you are probably in a more safe position to say something about it.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Byrne suggested the following comments and noted that \u201cI feel\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t\u201d comments can be a more comfortable approach:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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