These 8 Common Behaviors Might Actually Be Stimming. Here’s What That Means.

When you’re anxious or stressed, do you find yourself biting your nails or chewing the inside of your cheek? Or maybe when you’re trying to stay focused in a meeting, you shake your leg under the desk.

If any of this sounds familiar, then you’ve been engaging in what’s known as self-stimulatory behavior, or “stimming” for short, a repetitive body movement, sound or other action that provides sensory input to help an individual self-soothe or otherwise regulate their emotions.

These behaviors are “helpful, sometimes necessary, to offload pent-up energy and anxiety or help a person to maintain attention,” Michigan-based neurodivergent therapist Stephanie Gardner-Wright told HuffPost.

Stimming is often associated with autism and ADHD, but the fact of the matter is that everyone, even neurotypical folks, does it to a degree. For neurodivergent people, however, stimming tends to be more frequent, more intense and “much more of a consistent need,” said Gardner-Wright, noting that it is “typically a healthy and adaptive behavior.”

Stimming also generally has a greater impact on neurodivergent people’s nervous systems and overall well-being, said Lauren Dawson, a coach at the neuro-affirming Curious Coaching practice in the U.K.

“We may stim more than a neurotypical person, and our stims may look different from what is generally accepted by society,” noted Dawson, who said they are a “late-discovered Autistic ADHD-er.”

Stimming is also “highly individual” and depends on what you find to be regulating, Dawson said. These behaviors can stimulate any of the senses — there are visual, tactile, auditory, vocal, olfactory, oral and even vestibular (balance-related) stims.

Below are some common behaviors you may not have known are actually stims.

Your obsession with playing the same song over and over might actually be a type of auditory stimming behavior.

“When I’m feeling stressed and there is a lot of uncertainty in my life, I like to listen to songs on repeat,” said Dawson. “Not only is it predictable, but I hear all the different layers of the music and notice new things as I listen more. It’s a positive distraction.”

One person on an autism Reddit thread wrote that they don’t just listen to the same song repeatedly; they like to keep playing a specific part of the song over and over again, writing, “Something about the way a particular sound is made or the way the singer sings it. It’s very soothing.”

You know that hand motion you make when you’re trying to warm up, quickly rubbing your palms together? Many folks find that this tactile stim helps release excess energy, whether that’s positive energy like excitement or the negative kind like nervousness or frustration.

“Many people stim before starting an activity that makes them anxious,” Vered Counseling therapist Kimberly Vered Shashoua, who works with autistic teens in Texas and North Carolina, told HuffPost. “What is often called ‘shaking out our nerves’ is actually stimming.”

For example, some people might rub their hands together like this before checking their work email, she said.

Or maybe you engage in what’s known as “cricketing,” or rhythmically rubbing your feet together a la the insect with a penchant for the same behavior. This stim is most commonly performed before bed or while relaxing.

“It is the most satisfying feeling when I’m all cozy, makes my brain go all tingly!” one person wrote on an autism Reddit thread.

Swaying back-and-forth while sitting or standing is an example of a common vestibular, or balance-related stim that can be calming and grounding.

“I like to rock from side to side, which was something I was repeatedly told not to do as a child,” Dawson said. “To me, it’s both soothing and joyful. I’ll do it to calm down, but also when I’m really enjoying something.”

Others might notice themselves shifting back and forth in anticipation of an unpleasant task like making a phone call, Shashoua added.

Any variation in how you play with your hair — like twirling it around your finger, running strands across your face or lips or braiding and unbraiding it — provides tactile feedback that many folks find comforting or satisfying.

“Putting your hair in and out of ponytails can be a way of applying firm, soothing pressure to your scalp,” Shashoua said. “We might be aware that we’re giving ourselves a scalp massage, but our nervous system does.”

Common habits like unconsciously nibbling on your nails, cuticles, lips or inside of your mouth create oral or tactile feedback, Dawson noted.

You might notice you engage in these chewing behaviors more when you’re trying to concentrate or during times of stress, overwhelm or even under-stimulation.

Pacing around the room is another example of a vestibular stim. You might find you do it more when trying to think through, plan, problem-solve or reflect on a situation.

Pacing during a phone call, for example, “may help someone to stay focused on the conversation,” said Gardner-Wright.

Do you constantly tap your foot while you study or jiggle a leg under the desk at work? These repetitive movements are also types of stims.

“I bounce my knee all the time, usually my right leg, or I’ll shake the foot that’s in the air if my legs are crossed,” one Reddit user commented on a women with ADHD post. “I do it for sensory seeking. I feel buzzy inside if I’m completely still.”

Drumming your fingertips on a surface offers both tactile and auditory sensory feedback. This common stim is often seen among neurotypical and neurodivergent folks alike.

Others may find different types of hand movements help them focus or deal with sensory overload.

“I also enjoy moving my hand in a wave-like motion, feeling the stretch in my joints,” Dawson said. “I do this when concentrating but also as a way of managing lots of external sensory input.”

Stigma around neurodivergence leads some folks to try to hide, or “mask,” their stims and other traits, whether consciously or unconsciously, to better fit in at school, work or other social situations. But doing so comes at a great cost and can be detrimental to a person’s mental and physical health.

For the most part, stimming is a healthy way to manage difficult emotions or fulfill sensory needs, Gardner-Wright explained.

If the behavior isn’t causing harm to yourself or others, you should feel free to engage in it, Dawson said.

“In my experience, preventing neurodivergent people from stimming is taking away a potentially joyous and deeply regulating experience,” they said. “It can also lead to people developing other stims that might be more harmful.”

People often worry that if a stimming behavior is visible, then it’s a problem that needs to be corrected. But that’s just not so, Shashoua explained.

“Your child rocking is not dangerous. Your child flapping their hands is not dangerous. You do not need to eliminate a behavior just because you see it,” she said.

There are, however, some instances in which a stimming behavior does cause harm — think: pulling hair from your head or biting your nails or picking at your skin to the point of frequent bleeding or even infection, just to name a few. These damaging self-grooming behaviors, known as body-focused repetitive behaviors (or BFRBs), may co-occur with autism and ADHD, said Gardner-Wright.

“They are not intended to cause self-harm but do because of the repetitive nature of the behavior,” she explained. Fortunately, treatment options, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, do exist and can help address the root causes of BFRBs.

As Shashoua pointed out, harmful stims are “almost always a response to anxiety,” and “that anxiety deserves care.”