The elusive contentment

Everyone relishes the feeling of blissful contentment or satiety that follows a hearty meal. Yet, arguably, personal contentment is an attribute that often eludes us in other spheres of life.

Living as we do in a materialistic world where one’s social standing often hinges on one’s financial resources, few are ever content with what they have. We constantly hanker to be on equal terms, socially and financially, with our neighbours and peers. Any disparity is unacceptable to our egos. No matter how much we have in terms of material comforts, we hunger for more, enviously eyeing what the well-heeled have. Apparently, it’s an inherent human craving that cannot be easily curbed due to our innate materialism. Indeed, as a wit put it, many speak the truth when they say that they despise riches, but they usually mean the riches of others.

Inequality and envy often fuel discontent and sustain it. We tend to compare what we have with what others have and then strive to bridge the gap. When we don’t succeed, discontentment inevitably follows. As such, few are ever content with their lot, the exception perhaps being the poor who, in any case, have little or no choice in the matter.

True, one’s contentment levels fluctuate in direct proportion to what one has (or doesn’t have) in relation to one’s peers. Thus, nothing creates more personal discontent than our eagerness to maintain social parity with (or superiority over) our peers. Trying to keep up with the Joneses socially and in other respects is best avoided; for when one thinks one has ultimately caught up with them, they usually tend to rise a notch or two higher. This often sees our levels of discontent spiral out of control.

Contentment, of course, springs from a sense of personal satisfaction or well-being. One can hardly be expected to purr with contentment like a well-fed cat lazing before a sitting-room fire when one’s neighbours or peers are way ahead of one as far as material comforts are concerned! Yet, one needs to be realistic and accept one’s lot while at the same time working steadfastly towards improving it rather than lamenting it.

The canker of envy and jealousy (compounded by discontent) can corrode the very fabric of life, if left unchecked, and vitiate one’s relationships. On the other hand, curbing one’s rising levels of discontent will go a long way in improving the quality of one’s life. Indeed, viewed dispassionately, it is our craving to be on an equal – if not higher – footing than our peers and contemporaries that is often the bane of our lives, as we tend to set our sights too high socially.

Thus, personal contentment is often a casualty in one’s life, usually reflecting one’s dissatisfaction with one’s lot. Self-righteously preaching contentment is, of course, easy but practising it is not, for it’s a will-o’-the-wisp that tends to elude one time and again. Maybe we need to strike a realistic balance between our choice of luxuries and necessities and curb the nagging impulse to keep up with others. Above all, perhaps we need to take a hard relook at our core values and priorities.

gnettomunnar@rediffmail.com