The compass of kindness

Often it takes courage to be kind because with it goes the risk of being rejected, perhaps even cheated.
| Photo Credit: Getty Images

When a film star-turned- politician died last month, nearly every tribute commended him for his personal warmth. It was remarkable that he had raised enough awareness to build a political party without a traditional lineage or mentorship; but that is not what he was fondly remembered for. It was his generosity and empathy. “He was always kind,” is not a bad epitaph to have in a ferociously competitive environment where winning is the only thing that matters.

I thought kindness as an instinct was worth writing about, considering the lack of sympathy and courtesy one encounters several times a day. Are we, as a society, condoning public rudeness? People even want to overtake you in a queue while boarding a flight on which everyone’s seat is assured! As you collect a precariously balanced tray of snacks or coffee, a brash neighbour cannot wait 10 seconds for hers; she thinks nothing of jostling your arm or stepping on your foot. So much so, that a polite word from a stranger or a show of consideration in a supermarket comes as a pleasant shock!

This insensitivity to others, deepened by self-preoccupation, is a symptom of a dangerous lack of innate kindness. Earphones and mobile-screens shut out the world, while users move like robots, oblivious of their fellow humans. Not a moment can be spared for the person seated inches away, perhaps a first-time traveller struggling with a seat belt! Whither plain old-fashioned kindness, a golden virtue? One might call it the gift of caring enough, either when approached for help or sometimes even before one is asked. A case in point is a girl I know, Nandini, 13, who was watching her teacher fumbling for the answer. Other students could have helped, but they simply watched their teacher’s discomfiture, unmoved. Nandini quickly e-mailed the solution and saved her teacher from an awkward moment. That’s empathy. That’s kindness. That’s what we hope to see behind a hospital counter or in a railway carriage.

Often it takes courage to be kind because with it goes the risk of being rejected, perhaps even cheated when you let your guard down to assist another person out of sheer goodwill or sympathy. Much safer to do and say nothing? To stay uninvolved? Of course. But if it were to happen to you? If you needed help and people walked by with eyes averted…what then?

The capacity for kindness and caring can brighten any relationship: family, friends, staff, tradespersons, not to mention passing strangers. Plant and animal lovers know that it also strengthens their connection with animals, birds and plants. Kindness is free; let’s pass on!

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