What is avalanching in relationships? What does it reflect about your personality – Times of India

We all seek love and companionship in life; but when it comes to modern dating and finding true love that lasts, it has become as complex as ever. From monkey branching, where a person jumps from one relationship to the other when issues arise with their partner rather than fixing them, to ghosting, where a person suddenly disappears from their relationship leaving their partner confused and heartbroken, many such trends have emerged in modern dating and relationships that have now become the norm.And one such trend that is often seen in the modern dating world is ‘Avalanching’, which has become the latest buzzword. But what is avalanching in relationships, what does it tell us about the personality of the person who is doing it, what are its signs and how can one avoid it? Read on to know everything about it here, as it can help you prevent a potential heartbreak.
What is avalanching in relationships?

Avalanching in relationships is a situation when a person constantly swipes right on dating apps in order to match with others and find a date, or when he/ she constantly messages others to show their romantic interest, or they come across as too strong even before you have started dating them– just so that someone, or anyone for that matter, dates them. Just like an avalanche, they come across as someone who is all over other people so that they aren’t left alone. People often indulge in this behaviour so that they eventually find a partner, especially for specific occasions like Valentine’s Day or New Years when they dread being alone.

However, avalanching in relationships is not considered healthy as people who display such behaviour often tend to compromise on their dating preferences or ignore red flags in a relationship. They may even neglect their non-negotiables in a potential romantic partner like age, looks, location and more just to find a companion. And so, such relationships generally don’t tend to last long and would eventually lead to ghosting or break-ups. If two people, who are both avalanching each other, end up dating then their relationship might also not grow and survive the test of time.
What does avalanching tell about someone’s personality?

People who indulge in avalanching in relationships generally come across as someone who lack self-confidence and boundaries in their life. They seem to have a low concept of themselves and may be willing to settle for less, all of which in turn makes them appear desperate to potential partners and may even repel them.
It also reflects that such people don’t know how to be alone and they do not love themselves enough. And if one doesn’t love themselves or don’t like their own company, then how would anyone else like them?

As per reports by some dating apps, most people indulge in avalanching during the build-up to Valentine’s Day or the Holiday Season and New Year, when they might feel the loneliest and crave having a date. This also shows that their intentions of finding a partner or true love aren’t genuine or real but are only fueled because of their fear of missing out (FOMO). However, this behaviour generally backfires as such people are often compromising in relationships, thus missing out on finding true love or a long-lasting relationship.
Talking of attachment styles in romantic relationships, according to psychology, people who indulge in avalanching might also have an Anxious Attachment Style or an Anxious-Avoidant Attachment style. This means that in romantic relationships, they might display anxious behaviours like constantly texting, calling or checking-in on their (potential) partner, instead of being secure in themselves and believing that they are loved regardless of any situation. This behaviour often makes their partners feel repelled or overwhelmed with a sudden surge in attention. Another downside of this is that people who are too desperate and focused on being loved rather than finding the right partner for themselves can also end up in abusive relationships.
What can one do instead?

Now that we know that avalanching in relationships is not healthy and appreciated by others, people who indulge in it can stop, pause and reflect on their actions. Instead of avalanching, they can switch to intentional dating– which means taking time to know yourselves and expectations better, and giving time to date and know a person instead of rushing to date or be in a relationship. They need to take time to find a partner who is in alignment with their goals and desires and learn that falling in love takes time and patience.
Signs you are being avalanched
We now know what is avalanching and why is it unhealthy in relationships. This might make one wonder if they are genuinely being liked by someone or if they are being avalanched when it comes to dating and getting to know others. Well, the sure shot sign of being avalanched is that a person would only be interested in you till they get a date with you; once that is achieved, they might even ghost you. A person who genuinely likes you or is interested in you will never make you question their intentions or your feelings. They won’t manipulate you or make you feel insecure about yourself. Instead, they’ll support you and make you feel liked and liberated.

Another sign is that a person who is avalanching you might be excessively jealous or controlling towards you. Some amount of possessiveness is natural in relationships, but a person who is avalanching you and has the intention of leaving you after some time might always be insecure about being left out, especially ahead of a big day like Valentine’s Day or the New Year’s when they want to have a companion.
It is important to understand that love takes time, patience and effort from both partners in order to grow. Healthy relationships need mutual respect, clear and honest communication, similar values and love to thrive. And so, instead of blindly rushing into relationships that might lead to heartbreaks, one should take their time to find long-lasting love and companionship.