A bride-to-be has been defended after she refused to invite her sister’s boyfriend’s child to her wedding.
In a recent post shared on the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, a woman shared that she’s getting married later this year, with her sister as her maid of honor. However, her sister recently split with her husband of 15 years – who she referred to as Rhys – and now started dating someone she met at work.
According to the bride, she hasn’t spent much time with her sister’s new partner, who she referred to as Brandon, and neither has the groom. “I have briefly met him a couple of times before but don’t know him very well,” she explained. “He’s nice enough but my [future husband] has never met him and like I say, I don’t really know him myself.”
However, before the bride’s sister started dating someone new, her ex-husband was invited to the wedding, since he’d been married to the maid of honor for 15 years and “was a big part of the family.”
Now that Rhys didn’t want to come to the wedding, post-breakup, Brandon “assumed he was invited” in his place. Although the Reddit user “didn’t like” that Brandon made this assumption, she let it go. But she later learned that Brandon had invited his daughter to the event without permission, which was ultimately an issue.
“[My sister] informs me that Brandon has told his daughter Kelly, who he co-parents with his ex, that they’re both coming to my wedding, so Kelly is really excited,” the bride-to-be added. “I reminded my sister that we are having a ‘child-free’ wedding, which was communicated to everyone who was invited to attend, as we ourselves don’t have children, don’t want children and so don’t want children at our wedding, which all our family and friends have been fine with.”
The Reddit user added that when she met Kelly herself, the 10-year-old was “unfortunately a complete brat,” and “definitely not a child” she wanted at the wedding, regardless of whether children were allowed to attend or not.
The maid of honor at first thought that the issue with Kelly’s invitation was money, so she “initially offered to pay for her place.” However, the bride-to-be instead emphasized that she wasn’t fond of Kelly and that there was a no-child rule at the wedding.
“Brandon overstepped by assuming his child could come without even trying to talk to myself and my [future husband] first. I also calmly told her that she knew we were having a child-free wedding and should have told him straight away to avoid this happening,” she continued. “It’s also not fair to our other friends and family members, who have arranged childcare for their own children to respect our wishes.”
The maid of honor was still upset, as she claimed that it would be “difficult” for her to tell her boyfriend he couldn’t bring Kelly, since she was “excited about going to the wedding.” The bride-to-be then acknowledged that this wasn’t her issue, claiming she’s “not responsible for [Brandon] trying to muscle in on a family event he wasn’t even invited to in the first place.”
The bride-to-be concluded by noting that he offered to talk to Brandon, but her sister ultimately turned that offer down.
The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, with more than 6,000 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people defended the bride’s decision to not invite Kelly to the wedding, while also criticizing Brandon for assuming he could bring his daughter to the event in the first place.
“It’s enough that you’re having a child-free wedding. It’s not your problem he made this assumption. It’s not your problem that your sister didn’t automatically correct him. Let [your sister] tell him. If he doesn’t want to come, so be it. If she decides to step down, let her. Do not give in to any ‘keep the peace’ arguments. You will regret it,” one wrote. “If you think he’ll bring his daughter, make sure there’s someone to turn them away from both the ceremony and reception.”
“There is something wrong with a person to not only invite themselves to your wedding but to invite their child as well. You might want to have a stand-by MOH, in case she decides this is a hill worth dying for,” another wrote. “Do not cave in. Think of all the people that found sitters because it is child-free.”
“It’s a child-free wedding,” a third wrote. “There’s nothing else to talk about. It’s your day and that’s a stipulation. She overstepped by assumptions. She put herself in an awkward place.”
